There is always hope

No matter how bad it seems. or is.

No matter if you are alone or have a huge support system, the power of the mind and being positive is a medicine in itself.

I annoy myself.

I feel the need to be positive, but at the same time I feel like I am dismissing the sadness and not feeling the tragedy.

I could use a good cry. But for some reason I haven't been able to.

Aunt & I in Las Vegas

My aunt has decided on a treatment path and is deciding to have a bilateral mastectomy. Part of me also is angry at myself, because I tend to internalize the situation...realizing that my family history of breast cancer keeps increasing. My great grandma died from it, both of my grandmas survived it, and now my aunt. I feel like I am just awaiting the time for my diagnosis or even worse my mothers.

And what a horrible way to think.

I feel sad, selfish, and helpless- we have no control over it.


Yet there is always HOPE. She will beat it like the others in my family. I will HOPEfully stop thinking of myself all the time.

This blog is very real. These are the thoughts and feelings I am having. It is pretty vulnerable to say all this- especially when I know my mindset is somewhat skewed.

Yet there is something very therapeutic about just writing it out. And to people I may not even know. I HOPE that others may relate to my thoughts. May we realize we are all together in this.